Illusions -- Soren/Zedfayce

[becca abigail faythe]

YOU WANT A REVELATION & YOU WANNA GET RIGHT,
& but it’s a conversation I just can’t have tonight

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Becca was both excited and nervous. Soren had been home to France over break and hadn’t heard the news of her engagement yet. The following evening she had slept over in Demetri’s dorm and hadn’t gotten to see Soren that morning. So she’d texted him to tell him to meet her at the lovely little coffee shop in town. She was both anxious and nervous to tell Soren, wondering what his reaction would be to the news. After all, it wasn’t like she was even considered legal or anything yet. She was seventeen, orphaned by her parents essentially, being ‘raised’ by a teacher who was the ideal parent for her, engaged and perpetually worried. An odd type to be planning a wedding. But she wanted to get married as soon as she could, and Alestaire understood. He knew that Dems was good for Becca and that she for him. But that still didn’t stop the nervousness in her stomach.

She had spent hours that morning picking out her outfit. She had changed in the two weeks since she’d seen Soren. She had gone to the doctor for a checkup and had told the doctor that she was getting married. She was then asked if she had plans to have children and when she answered yes, they did a series of tests on her. That’s when they found out she had defective ovaries. She’d always had issues with her… cycle. But they figured out she had polycystic ovarian syndrome and that the medications they’d loaded her up with for her bipolar disorder had caused her ovaries to become infertile, and her too. She was seventeen and had just found out she would forever be unable to have children. She needed to talk to someone about that, but not Demetri. No she couldn’t disappoint him after he’d just proposed to her. She’d tried to become more mature in order to take on her new role as wife. From what she wore to how she carried herself, it had been a 180. And one she was quite proud of, if you asked her.

She settled on a lovely lace peplum dress with short, capped sleeves done in the same lace that hugged the bodice. A pair of lace tights, her signature lace glovelets, and a cute fascinator headband. And in only a way that Becca could, she paired them with a pair of Doc Martens that added a slightly tough edge that was feminine and delicate at the same time. She tied on her choker and slipped on a coffin ring on her other hand, leaving her engagement ring in its place of residence since Dem’s proposal. She applied her dark eye shadow and puffed on pale powder before slicking her lips in a beautiful shade of crimson that contrasted well with her porcelain skin. She brushed out her long, black hair and let it fall in a curtain of delicate, bouncy curls framing her face. Then she grabbed her coffin-shaped purse and headed out of her dorm room and to the parking lot where her hearse stuck out like a sore thumb among the expensive, luxury models around it.

It was a boring drive over and she arrived before she knew it, taking care to meander her mammoth ride into a parking spot without banging into anything. She quietly headed across the street and heard a bell tinkle above her head as she entered. Her blue eyes scanned the faces, not spotting Soren yet, and she sighed in relief. She needed a few minutes to think over her plan of breaking all this troubling news to her best friend. She brushed the hair from her face and headed over to the counter, ordering a muffin and a pumpkin spice coffee before taking a seat in the back. Sliding into the seat she smoothed out her skirt and blew on her coffee to cool it while she waited. Her brain was in overdrive right now, but she had to keep calm and think this through. Besides, when had Soren even been anything but supporting?

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TAGGED !? SOREN/ZEDFAYCE !?
HOW MANY !? 687 !?
WEARING !? THIS !?
LYRICS BY !? NO LIGHT, NO LIGHT - FLORENCE + THE MACHINE !?
CREDIT TO !? RORA @ C. AFFAIRS[/color][/b] !?[/size][/center]

[soren émile tamesis]

i found a fox caught by dogs
HE LET ME TAKE HIM IN MY HANDS
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

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France had been good to Soren. It was nice to get Rhode Island out of his lungs and go to the bright sunlight of the Riviera. And it was good to speak his own language again, even if it was going to make his English suffer when he came back. But that was all right. He didn't use it much anyway - like his Spanish, he could understand quite a bit, but speaking it was still difficult. Not to mention that all the time in the institutions had not predisposed him to talking much, and that he was naturally shy to begin with...he could go entire days without speaking in English. Or speaking at all. Today, however, he was going to need it. His best friend Becca had offered to take him out for lunch upon his return, so naturally he had turned bright red on the other side of the Atlantic - which she could see through Skype - and rebuffed her offer, said that he could pay for himself. Eventually she'd worn him down and he accepted. It seemed that she had something important to say to him...he wondered what it could be.

The plane ride back had been simple enough. He used to hate planes, not because of the actual act of flying, but because they confined him and he couldn't run from his monsters. Still, he'd been having a few good days lately. Any anomalies in his vision had just been aura accompanying a headache, which was easily taken care of with some Maxalt. The stress had begun to leave him, and he was having fewer 'attacks'. Maybe he was even getting close to normal. The thought was enough to make him grin, really grin, until his cheeks ached. He wanted to be normal. He wanted to be free. And maybe Dynasty was so good for him that he could finally get better for real.

Since the weather was nice, he walked, wearing a dark blue hoodie and a pair of weatherbeaten Chuck Taylors. And skinny jeans, which were quite comfortable, actually. It didn't take him too long to reach the coffee shop, but he wouldn't have minded if it had been a long walk anyway. Autumn was one of his favorite times of year, especially in a place where the leaves actually changed and fell. There was a slight bite of cold in the air, and he smiled despite himself even though winter was soon to come - the worst time of year for his demons. He'd been stalked across the snow by those creations of his own diseased mind before, when the bare black trees clawed the neutral sky like angry beasts. But winter also meant Christmas and apple cider and snow flurries and scarves. Winter wasn't all bad.

When he got to the cafe, he ordered a chai latte - guilty pleasure, check - and a pumpkin scone. Once he had his items, he scanned the area - was that Becca in the back? Sure, had to be - nobody else could pull that outfit off. She looked like something right out of the Addams Family - Morticia, maybe.

Grinning broadly, he sat down at the table across from her after waving with his scone hand. "Becca, hi!" he said, entirely too pleased to see her. Then again, she was one of the only people who knew what it was like to go through that whole psychological mess. And probably his only friend here. Which he didn't mind.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
his little heart it beat so fast
THAT I AM ASHAMED TO BE RUNNING AWAY
FROM NOTHING REAL

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tagged » becca/ren
words » 591
lyrics » hounds of love - the futureheads
music » Portal 2 OST
notes » SOREN. I missed him.

[becca abigail faythe]

YOU WANT A REVELATION & YOU WANNA GET RIGHT,
& but it’s a conversation I just can’t have tonight

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Becca was relieved to see Soren had made it okay. She’d worried herself sick the last few days, silently panicking that his plane would fall from the sky or something worse. When she saw his little blonde head come through the door a smile crossed her face that could almost split her whole face in two. She sat a bit straighter with excitement flashing in her blue eyes and ran a hand through her black hair. She watched as he walked to the counter, a few butterflies fluttering in her stomach, and she mentally shamed herself. She’d already been with Demetri when Soren showed up at her school, but when she was in the institution where they’d originally met, she had a huge crush on him. Still did, in fact. Though she wasn’t about to let him know that.

She waited for him to come closer and jumped up to give him an affectionate hug. Carefully she sat down again, trying to hide the ring on her finger under the table without it seeming obvious she was doing so. She just wanted to burst out so badly what had happened, but knew she needed to give Soren time to relax before springing sudden, life-changing news on him. She’d learned that the hard way in the asylum when she’d informed him she was madly in love with him. She resisted the urge to blush as he sat down across from her with his scone and latte. She twisted the bottom of a piece of her hair like she always did when she was nervous, a moment of silence passing between them after Soren said hi and she’d beamed back.

”How was your flight, Soren? I hope you didn’t have any… problems?” She said with a sympathetic smile.

She took a sip of her coffee and the heat burned her tongue. She thought about swearing or making some sort of motion to show it burned, but honestly the pain got her brain to focus on something other than the anxiety. She went to look at her wrist and realized her scars were almost healed now and she’d abandoned wearing her bracelets on them, a display of how she’d survived all her years of suicide attempts and cutting. She proudly showed Soren her healed wrists, uncovered and unmakeup-ed with a shy half smile. She’d done it. She’d finally left some of her demons in the past where they belonged and had overcome one of the hurdles facing her.

But her future had a whole new set of hurdles for her to jump. New challenges she would have to face someday, though now she was more than content to pretend her ovaries worked and that someday she’d give Demetri the child he would want. They’d discussed kids already and on more than just one occasion. In fact, that is why she’d gone to have her hormone levels tested and everything “checked out”. She wanted to make sure there would be no issues for her wedding night. Honeymoon. Whatever you wanted to call it. She didn’t even realize she was blushing till she felt the warmth creep up her neck to her cheeks, but she hoped she would just appear aloof and anxious versus embarrassed. Maybe, just maybe Soren wouldn’t notice.

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TAGGED !? SOREN/ZEDFAYCE !?
HOW MANY !? 585 !?
WEARING !? THIS !?
LYRICS BY !? NO LIGHT, NO LIGHT - FLORENCE + THE MACHINE !?
CREDIT TO !? RORA @ C. AFFAIRS[/color][/b] !?[/size][/center]

[soren émile tamesis]

i found a fox caught by dogs
HE LET ME TAKE HIM IN MY HANDS
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[/size][/font][/center]

The hug was nice - it reminded Soren just how much he'd missed the niceties of human contact. Becca was one of the only people who could touch him without freaking him out, because they were so close. Even his mother would hesitate, her hand perhaps resting gently on his arm like a frightened bird he was apt to chase off with a twitch or a flinch. It was difficult. It had always been difficult. But it had been good to see his family again.

"The flight went well, actually!" he said, grinning. "Half the time they don't, but I think..." And here he dropped his voice lower, as if saying it in a normal tone would make it no longer true -- "I think it's getting better." That was exciting news. He'd been plagued by the things for more than half of his life. He just wanted the visions to go away once and for all. He'd never asked for this. For any of it.

He took a sip of his latte. Just as he remembered it, and it made him smile a little, even though the drink was still prohibitively hot. When she showed him her wrists, he positively beamed at her. His own scars were faded and faint, the result of a brief flirtation with bloodletting as a way to keep the monsters away. It didn't. They only got worse when he did. But he knew she'd had a real problem with it, and the day he'd see her wrists bare and healed was a day he thought might never come. "Congratulations! Ah, Becca, I'm so proud of you!" he said excitedly. It was a big step for her, and it meant she was well and truly on the road to recovery. He hoped he'd catch up to her on that same road someday.

At first he thought the blush was mere bashfulness at being complimented, but she'd never shown such a tendency in the past. "Is something the matter?" he asked, suddenly concerned. Maybe she'd moved her cutting somewhere else, like her thighs - but she wouldn't lie to him about something like this. About anything, really. So whatever was concerning her was a total mystery to him. Soren leaned in, hunching protectively over the latte and scone, waiting for an answer.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
his little heart it beat so fast
THAT I AM ASHAMED TO BE RUNNING AWAY
FROM NOTHING REAL

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tagged » Becca/Ren
words » 396
lyrics » hounds of love - the futureheads
music » none
notes » c'mon soren muse, bring it back